WEll I didnt keep everyone updated as much as I would have liked to but I did get drunk and like the Bears draft so all in all a good weekend. Oh, and the diarrhea was massive. Thank you hot wings and nachos.
Winners
-Everyones a winner right? No, your wrong, so wrong that I want to tackle you into an unsterilized bath of needles.
So who won you might ask...
Lions, they defintely won. They're rebuilding with who I think is a great coach and a solid offensive coordiantor. Matthew Stafford will of course have his fuck ups here and there, but he is a bona fide NFL starter and quite possibly a star. He got a great weapon in Derrick Williams too, who will be a great WR and PR for the team. Picking up Brandon Pettigrew is great too, he is MASSIVE. A good blocker and a reliable pass catcher that quadro-headed dragon will commence rapage in the NFC North for a few years to come. Louis Delmas is a fucking GREAT FS and will be a star in a couple years. They defintely picked up a good amount of starters and no shit heads who could ruin the team.
Packers, they're going to have a great defense with the addition of BJ Raji and Clay Matthews. Now that someone in the NFC North is running the 3-4, Raji fits it perfectly.
Bengals, sure they picked up every character concerning player they could, but thats just what they do. Andre Smith, Rey Maulauga, and Michael Johnson are all bona fide NFL stars in waiting. If Johnson can get someone to make him like football, he'll be a terror. Chase coffman was a good pick too, he'll catch a lot of passes this year a la Greg Olsen.
Loser Dicks
Raiders, even though I like Heyward-Bey, it was of course, too high for them to take him, along with a couple other shit heads they went ahead and didnt do so hot again on draft day.
Redskins, Besides for Orakpo who could be another Gholston they didn't get anyone who can make a big splash this year.
Seahawks, Got Aaron Curry, but no one to help run the ball which they desperatley needed
1. I liked the bears draft and let me tell you why.
-They got the best player, or at least athlete, available with Jarron Gilbert in the 3rd round. He's a mammoth of a man who is quick too. I think he'll start out at DE but will move his way to DT. He's super quick and should get a lot of sacks from these positions with the help of DL coaching extrodinare Rod Marinelli. The same goes for Henry Melton who was a 270 pound freshman running back at Texas before he grew even bigger and became a quick pass rusher who was pretty damn decent against the run too when need be. They are both incredible athletes who will greatly appreciate, statistics wise the coaching of Marinelli.
-Iglesias, ehhh, he's OK, but he's not a very 'strong' player. He never wowed me and I saw him lose a few jump balls to average corner backs. Now Johnny Knox, after watching film on his, the kid is a beast and I believe will be an immediate contributor. He runs a low 4.3, and the best part is it actually shows on the field!!! Not just a track star but a good WR with good hands too, makes great adjustments to the ball while its in the air, great concentration. Derek Kinder, our last pick and WR out of Pitt was on his way to becoming a 1-2 rounder after his junior season before fucking up everything in his knee. He is a total badass and reminds me a lot of Hnes Ward in his blocking ability and swagger on the field. He'll dive left and right for balls and run great routes.
-Marcus Freeman and DJ Moore will be starters within a couple years. We dont have much talent on the SLB side and Freeman can provide his 'lance briggs'-like sure tackling ability there. DJ Moore is great, he can run catch and flat out play, he is extremely similiar to Nathan Vasher and could soon outplay him to get on the field. The guy played everything at Vandy and was 3 steps ahead of everyone even before the QB knew where he was going to throw it.
-The other guy, the 'OG' from SDSU is intriguing. He was a top 10 TE recruit who switched to guard a couple years back but can still run a high 4.7 at 300 lbs. I wonder what theyre going to do with him. Refrigerator Perry FB/TE perhaps, or they might just keep him at G where he'll just be an overathletic smelly lineman. who knows?
I saw some of the undrafted FAs we picked up and was disappointed to see no Quan Cosby, the bengals took him and will soon ruin his career. I like the Kansas LB whos big but not too fast and the Northwestern WR Eric Peterman whos a jack of all trades, could be a lot like Mike Haas where he impresses in practice but never gets on the field. The other guy is Chase Patton who backed up Chase Daniel his entire time at Missouri but was always touted as the better pro prospect. Looks verrrry similar to Matt Cassel in terms of Height weight and production (nil)
******give me feedback on how you feel the draft went, any comments at all***********
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
It's here.....
HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO THE MOST GLORIOUS BLOG ON THE MOST GLORIOUS DAY OF THE YEAR, the NFL Draft
As everyone should, I am prepared to sit and maintain total ass consistency with my seat for hours to come, but everyone should be prepared because this day can get rough and someone could die if not properly equipped.
My arsenal consists of a cold six pack of corona (+2 guinness) a naggin of whiskey (basically what they call the glass flasks here, easy to call and easy to conceal, but you do feel a little bit racist when you say it in public), some baileys and some red wine in case I feel the need to class it up a tit bit (the latter scenario is highly improbable)
For nutrients to sustain a constant focus on my streaming computer screen I have a very fitting, of course, glorious menu. I will be putting the wings in the oven at 9pm then furiously dousing them with franks red hot and chili peppers once they're gooed and crispy. To accompany this draft day delicacy I will make my own blue cheese dressing to cool the fiery heart of these wings, it will be made mostly of mayonnaise, blue cheese, yogurt and bust.
For both an appetizer and a dessert I have tortilla chips (there is literally only 1 store out of 6 different grocery stores in this entire fucking country that sells tortilla chips, the mexicans need to step their shit up and get their food here before their flu gets here). I will carefully place an unnecessary amount of shredded cheddar cheese on them and proceed to melt it in the oven. Then with enough sour cream and chili peppers to choke a fucking horse I will have made them complete. There is also diced tomato for pussies.
Please enjoy this day to the fullest. It is as before mentioned, a glorious day. If the team you like doesn't get the player you wanted well then fuck you, your wrong they're right and your in no position to hate them. Go out and have some sex, get lit up and then buy a load of tequila, just do anything to make yourself as happy as i am. Just don't take this weekend for granted, it only comes once a year.
*********Be sure to comment with any questions, requests or what you believe to be neccesary curse words on this blog all day. I'll make sure to give you in depth analysis of every pick and how badly my diarrhea progresses throughout the night*********
As everyone should, I am prepared to sit and maintain total ass consistency with my seat for hours to come, but everyone should be prepared because this day can get rough and someone could die if not properly equipped.
My arsenal consists of a cold six pack of corona (+2 guinness) a naggin of whiskey (basically what they call the glass flasks here, easy to call and easy to conceal, but you do feel a little bit racist when you say it in public), some baileys and some red wine in case I feel the need to class it up a tit bit (the latter scenario is highly improbable)
For nutrients to sustain a constant focus on my streaming computer screen I have a very fitting, of course, glorious menu. I will be putting the wings in the oven at 9pm then furiously dousing them with franks red hot and chili peppers once they're gooed and crispy. To accompany this draft day delicacy I will make my own blue cheese dressing to cool the fiery heart of these wings, it will be made mostly of mayonnaise, blue cheese, yogurt and bust.
For both an appetizer and a dessert I have tortilla chips (there is literally only 1 store out of 6 different grocery stores in this entire fucking country that sells tortilla chips, the mexicans need to step their shit up and get their food here before their flu gets here). I will carefully place an unnecessary amount of shredded cheddar cheese on them and proceed to melt it in the oven. Then with enough sour cream and chili peppers to choke a fucking horse I will have made them complete. There is also diced tomato for pussies.
Please enjoy this day to the fullest. It is as before mentioned, a glorious day. If the team you like doesn't get the player you wanted well then fuck you, your wrong they're right and your in no position to hate them. Go out and have some sex, get lit up and then buy a load of tequila, just do anything to make yourself as happy as i am. Just don't take this weekend for granted, it only comes once a year.
*********Be sure to comment with any questions, requests or what you believe to be neccesary curse words on this blog all day. I'll make sure to give you in depth analysis of every pick and how badly my diarrhea progresses throughout the night*********
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thoughts About This Glorious Forthcoming Weekend
- Michael Crabtree won't fall below the 3rd pick. He's the best player and I think a lot of people realize this. Although his draft preparation sounds a lot like my M-F nights (pepperoni pizza for every meal after a long day of watching rap videos and mozzying around in a wheelchair) he won't fall far. Look for the Chiefs to take him if they don't trade down (which I think they will). The Chiefs WILL NOT take Aaron Curry...and on that note
-Aaron Curry won't go in the top 4 which I've seen in almost every mock draft. He's a good player, but there's better potential in others and he's not worth that high of a pick. Plus he's boring as shit.
-Jaguars will fuck up some how. They always seem to in the draft. They'll either trade down and get a crappy player or overdraft someone at No.8.
-I truly think the Redskins might cause a Jay Cutler type scenario in Washington and try desperately to get Mark Sanchez
-Detroit is going to have a great draft. They'll make consistent smart picks, which will be odd and confusing and possibly frightening to most, don't worry it will only last for a little while. Most likely landing Stafford at No. 1 (who will be good, give him a couple years to wipe the suck off him that will instantly dirty his clothes when he strolls through the Detroit air) and then a couple of solid starting defenders with No. 20 and No. 33.
-Everette Brown from Florida St. is the best DE, not Orakpo. He's a pure natural pass rusher, I don't know about a 3-4 OLB, but he should be a Top 10 pick.
-Sean Smith, CB, Utah will get way overdrafted in the top 25, according to some, but will then outplay his draft position in his rookie year, he's tall and good and Utahanian.
-Knowshon Moreno is on most everyones Top 12 board but constantly falls past no. 20, this won't happen, he's worthy of a top 10.
-Maclin and Harvin are the biggest boom or bust WRs i can remember.
-I love the Draft
-Aaron Curry won't go in the top 4 which I've seen in almost every mock draft. He's a good player, but there's better potential in others and he's not worth that high of a pick. Plus he's boring as shit.
-Jaguars will fuck up some how. They always seem to in the draft. They'll either trade down and get a crappy player or overdraft someone at No.8.
-I truly think the Redskins might cause a Jay Cutler type scenario in Washington and try desperately to get Mark Sanchez
-Detroit is going to have a great draft. They'll make consistent smart picks, which will be odd and confusing and possibly frightening to most, don't worry it will only last for a little while. Most likely landing Stafford at No. 1 (who will be good, give him a couple years to wipe the suck off him that will instantly dirty his clothes when he strolls through the Detroit air) and then a couple of solid starting defenders with No. 20 and No. 33.
-Everette Brown from Florida St. is the best DE, not Orakpo. He's a pure natural pass rusher, I don't know about a 3-4 OLB, but he should be a Top 10 pick.
-Sean Smith, CB, Utah will get way overdrafted in the top 25, according to some, but will then outplay his draft position in his rookie year, he's tall and good and Utahanian.
-Knowshon Moreno is on most everyones Top 12 board but constantly falls past no. 20, this won't happen, he's worthy of a top 10.
-Maclin and Harvin are the biggest boom or bust WRs i can remember.
-I love the Draft
Sunday, April 5, 2009
What do We do Now
Draft Mohammed Massaqoui. The bears have put him through a private workout and everything and everyone raves about his leadership, hands, route running, production...sounds like about everything. Took a hit in the rankings by getting hurt a year back and a high 4.5 40 at the combine but made up for it with a 4.4 at his pro day. He's everything you want in a WR and will be around in the 2nd round. Take him, he'll play.
Also, I think I've been very wrong about a FA signing, Josh Bullocks. I said he could be our starter at FS, which he still could, but this hilarious video brought to light why he wasent wanted back for the saints...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7bCO5-69mU
Also, I think I've been very wrong about a FA signing, Josh Bullocks. I said he could be our starter at FS, which he still could, but this hilarious video brought to light why he wasent wanted back for the saints...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7bCO5-69mU
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Cutler
Nothing could have made me happier after a dreadful day of reading hours of managerial accounting knowing i have no idea what im doing (remember that i have to teach myself everything) and seeing breaking news of jay cutler being traded to the bears. Orton you will be missed (I have no idea what the deal is but I assume hes part of it). Cutler gives us a legit QB for the next 10 years (granted his diabetes doesnt go Ron Santo on him) with the exception of a couple of years where he'll have shitty-favre-number seasons (lots of interceptions) we have our answer. Good lord, you are kind, please continue the bountiful raining of talent into the bears.
More to come later after i fuck up my test tomorrow at 11
More to come later after i fuck up my test tomorrow at 11
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Chicago Bears '09 Dream Draft
A rant of epic proportions. Please...use comments to bewilder me with agreement or bountiful dispute (remember the consequences of both).
I'll do this by first looking at each position on the Bears followed by possibilities and hopes of whom they should draft, when and why. Some positions look OK (I think theres one) so no drafting is needed. I'm going to obnoxiously capitalize every players name, just to be different
QB
KYLE ORTON is solid. I believe he'll develop into a top 15 QB this season. The team respects him as the starter so there is no reason to bring anyone in to compete with him for the #1 spot. Like all the great ones, he's tough (played on a sprained ankle, those suck), manages the game well, football-smart, and hits the sauce often enough to make Namath proud ('I jush wanth to kissh you righ noww, ugh lookh sho bootiful' he exclaimed with great relish to suzy kolbert). CALEB HANIE is a preseason hero who is more of a linebacker than QB, but should continue to make coaches uneasy. Brett Basanez is a smart kid who Ron Turner brought in because he liked his high school film...that makes me nervous...he does remind me of Jeff Garcia though, w/o the short shorts and lisp and playboy-wife coverup.
*In the Draft - I say no one, but theres about 44.3% of chicagonians that would like to see someone get picked. If anyone, try RUDY CARPENTER from Arizona St in the 7th round. He was a real gamer until a shitty senior season. A strong leader with decent size and a great arm.
RB
Go ahead and call me a dick, but I called it. Back me up here Kevin. I was exubirantly horny when the Bears took MATT FORTE. He's fast, shifty and instinctive all while checking in at 6'2 222. He's a new breed. Note: Is there a rule against strong accents above vowels on the player's jersey in the NFL, b/c Forte should fight it. It's Sooooo great that he's not a shithead, which means hes due for an uncharacteristic fuckup within the next 4 years, everyone has em. KEVIN JONES rebound potential has caused me to watch lots and lots of his old detroit lions highlights, hot stuff. He could contend with Thomas Jones for the most unneccessarily big biceps in the league. He was obviously still hurt or sucked incredibly last year b/c he barely played. He says hes 100%, so let em run. ADRIAN PETERSON, I have no i-i-i-i-dea i-i-i-iff he a hea is still on the team (straight to hell for me)if so he's a special teams stud, same for GARRETT WOLFE, keepers. Were set there.
*Don't draft anyone here unless its a freak thats hanging around in the middle rounds. JASON MCKIE, our FB, is solid, but we cuold get better. After he got hurt, JASON DAVIS, who is awful was signed and for some reason remains on the roster. Ron Turner is not an NFL coach (he's signed a QB he recruited but couldn't get, and a productive-in-college-awful-pros RB/FB he coached at UI...a true dick)
WR
Here's the biggest problem. DEVIN HESTER is our #1, when he lacks total confidence in himself being a reciever. This does not look good for me and my home and pro-bowl jersey of this bastard. The rarest of the rare kind of ability but no swagger to back it up. The prolem inlies in the brain cavity of this sweet lil boy. Its empty, I wish he was a tool that talked shit, cause I think he would play better. He'll be better at the position this year and should worry less. I forsee a 1,000 total yds, 12 TD (a few on reverses/wildcat). Plus at least one punt return TD since he isn't burdened with KRs anymore. The Bears went through a total makeover, releasing everyone they had just signed, making our 3rd round pick and completely unplayed EARL BENNETT the spring starter. I really like him, reminds me of Booker, but since he didn't play at all, that can't be good. Lots of pressure on him. Other than that theres a few practice quad guys and RASHIED DAVIS, who I've always loved as a sure handed 3rd/4th WR. What i like as well is the use of TE GREG OLSON out wide too, really makes us versatile with a HUGE target out there
* Obviously we need 2 WRs to make an NFL-standard 5 on the roster. Why we havent signed a solid veteran to give Hester story-times and allow him recess for 20 mins a day is very confusing. There is a lot of bought-to-die talent out there. Marvin Harrisson, Tory Holt, Amani Toomer. Maybe after the draft...heres a few guys we could get. KENNY BRITT and HAKEEM NICKS are bigger recievers that can take pressure off of Hester and should be available for the Bears at pick No. 18. Some mid-round possibilities I like are UNCs BROOK FOSTER, BYUs AUSTIN COLLIE who could make solid #2 recievers or some later round picks such as Texas' QUAN COSBY, Rices JARRETT DILLARD who can work wonders in the slot, or watch out for PITTs DEREK KINDER who was a monster before a knee injury last year.
TE
Very solid at the position. DESMOND CLARK has always been dependable. GREG OLSEN can line up at WR or inside at TE and give defenses a lot of looks. Should become more of a goal line threat once he gets more experience. KELLEN DAVIS looks a lot like the super cereal Xerxes and is just as flamingly big. A great prospect to have on the roster.
OL
Note: Would love to commend the Bears on quickly making a 'trade' with the browns...they signed John St. Clair (who sucked mind you) and we signed they're younger, more experienced and possible KKK ringmaster/Deadliest Catch-star Kevin Shaffer.
http://www.chicagobears.com/news/NewsStory.asp?story_id=5684
That gives us a experienced starting RT and a complete 'Oh Please God let him be good' at the LT (2008 1st round pick Chris Williams). I think we'll be alright at the OT positions. Olin Kreutz is still our C and everyone loves/hates him. Guards Roberto Garza and Josh Beekman are solid as well as Dan Buenning and Frank Obih%$le (another recent signee), we shuold defintely bring in some more competition and talent for both G and T.
*I say spend a top-3 round pick on a T or G, maybe a G/T? PHIL LOADHOLT out of Oklahoma is literally a holt of load (6'8 340). Big dude. His teammate DUKE ROBINSON is also a talented massive body that should be around in round 2. Maybe later look at an athletic T like Nebraska's LYDON MERTHA. Beekman is our future starter at Kreutz after Fred Miller exacts his revenge from the broken-jaw-at-the-FBI-shooting-range-incident...I'm surprised that wasnt made into a weirder spectacle.
DL
I'm happy here with the talent, not the production. ADAWAYLE OGUNLEYE and ALEX BROWN are hard workers and great football players but are getting old and MARK ANDERSON doesnt seem to care anymore. In comes Rod Marinelli and watch out for a double digit sack season from one of them...seriously, he's that good of a coach. TOMMIE HARRIS and MARCUS HARRISON are the best talents at DT and ANTHONY ADAMS and DUSTY DVORACHECK are mean mother fuckers who will foot-stomp anybody who identifies themselves as a quarterback.
*Need to get some young talent at DE after some failed earlier draft picks. MICHAEL JOHNSON (Georgia Tech), LARRY ENGLISH (NIU) and PAUL KRUGER (Utah) are incredible talents who could possibly slip to round 2 where we should absolutely jump on them. Look out for USC-transfer JEFF SCHWEIGER who is a pass rush terror from San Jose St. If ROBERT AYERS from Tennessee falls to the Bears at no. 18, they should think long and hard (thats what she said?) at him.
LB
LANCE BRIGGS a football fuckin animal. Should have another pro bowl year. BRIAN URLACHER unfortunately has made clear a lot of rumors...he doesnt even try to get off blocks, its embarassing. He makes it look like he is but then slows down and lets the guy just hold him completely out of the play. No disruption. Still solid in pass coverage. But we need a future replacement..I never thought Id have to say that. HUNTER HILLENMEYER and JAMAR WILLIAMS are very close to being marginally decent players...need someone else out there.
*JASPER BRINKLEY from South Carolina and DARRY BECKWITH from LSU are solid MLBs who proved to hold their own in the SEC and should be available in rounds 4-5. At OLB, KALUKA MAIVA from USC (A backup, but hey, Matt Cassel) and fast-rising BRIAN TOAL from BC could contribute on special teams and become solid starters.
**Two interesting notes about forgotten draft-eligable players this year at OLD
1. Tre Blackmon - Auburn - Has like 7 kids or something and was the hardest hitting thing I've encountered since that 8-ball of smack from Reno '04. Sufficently dubbed 'the Little Ball of Hate' by his teammates. I really hope he gets drafted. I think hes only 6' 220, but oh dear can he play.
Watch(Please excuse the freak that narrates, you'll see)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm3QcPAqS1Q&feature=related
2. Willie Williams - Glenville St. - The infamous 'I got accepted into Miami (Fl.) even though I've had over 17+ arrests as a minor'. Also famously caused 3+ felonies in a florida hotel while on an official visit.
DB
Vasher, solid, stop getting hurt asshole. Tillman, extremely gifted albeit a lil slower than most WRs, just let him strip the ball every play. Manning is an INCREBILE KR and a sweet nickel back, I wish they'd put him in at FS though. Josh Bullocks is a good FA pick-up and has great speed and should become our starting FS. Kevin Payne is our man at SS and with an incredibly fitting name (sorry I had to be the 73rd guy to say that). At CB Corey Graham and Zach Bowman are future studs and have already flashed it. Craig Steltz is a sweet badass who is a solid chioce for a backup.
*Pick up anoher safety and corner to compete for roster sopts. I really really like CB MIKE MICKENS from Cincy who we could nab in the 4-5 round, extremely athletic who'd make a great cover 2 corner. FS DEREK PAGUES could play corner as well and is an absolute ballhawk, reminds me of Ed Reed and thats saying a lot, but for some reason will be available after round 3.
K/P
I love you Gould. You too Maynard, sorry for giving your child possible brain damage from lack of supervision...funny story, ask me if you want the whole thing.
I'll do this by first looking at each position on the Bears followed by possibilities and hopes of whom they should draft, when and why. Some positions look OK (I think theres one) so no drafting is needed. I'm going to obnoxiously capitalize every players name, just to be different
QB
KYLE ORTON is solid. I believe he'll develop into a top 15 QB this season. The team respects him as the starter so there is no reason to bring anyone in to compete with him for the #1 spot. Like all the great ones, he's tough (played on a sprained ankle, those suck), manages the game well, football-smart, and hits the sauce often enough to make Namath proud ('I jush wanth to kissh you righ noww, ugh lookh sho bootiful' he exclaimed with great relish to suzy kolbert). CALEB HANIE is a preseason hero who is more of a linebacker than QB, but should continue to make coaches uneasy. Brett Basanez is a smart kid who Ron Turner brought in because he liked his high school film...that makes me nervous...he does remind me of Jeff Garcia though, w/o the short shorts and lisp and playboy-wife coverup.
*In the Draft - I say no one, but theres about 44.3% of chicagonians that would like to see someone get picked. If anyone, try RUDY CARPENTER from Arizona St in the 7th round. He was a real gamer until a shitty senior season. A strong leader with decent size and a great arm.
RB
Go ahead and call me a dick, but I called it. Back me up here Kevin. I was exubirantly horny when the Bears took MATT FORTE. He's fast, shifty and instinctive all while checking in at 6'2 222. He's a new breed. Note: Is there a rule against strong accents above vowels on the player's jersey in the NFL, b/c Forte should fight it. It's Sooooo great that he's not a shithead, which means hes due for an uncharacteristic fuckup within the next 4 years, everyone has em. KEVIN JONES rebound potential has caused me to watch lots and lots of his old detroit lions highlights, hot stuff. He could contend with Thomas Jones for the most unneccessarily big biceps in the league. He was obviously still hurt or sucked incredibly last year b/c he barely played. He says hes 100%, so let em run. ADRIAN PETERSON, I have no i-i-i-i-dea i-i-i-iff he a hea is still on the team (straight to hell for me)if so he's a special teams stud, same for GARRETT WOLFE, keepers. Were set there.
*Don't draft anyone here unless its a freak thats hanging around in the middle rounds. JASON MCKIE, our FB, is solid, but we cuold get better. After he got hurt, JASON DAVIS, who is awful was signed and for some reason remains on the roster. Ron Turner is not an NFL coach (he's signed a QB he recruited but couldn't get, and a productive-in-college-awful-pros RB/FB he coached at UI...a true dick)
WR
Here's the biggest problem. DEVIN HESTER is our #1, when he lacks total confidence in himself being a reciever. This does not look good for me and my home and pro-bowl jersey of this bastard. The rarest of the rare kind of ability but no swagger to back it up. The prolem inlies in the brain cavity of this sweet lil boy. Its empty, I wish he was a tool that talked shit, cause I think he would play better. He'll be better at the position this year and should worry less. I forsee a 1,000 total yds, 12 TD (a few on reverses/wildcat). Plus at least one punt return TD since he isn't burdened with KRs anymore. The Bears went through a total makeover, releasing everyone they had just signed, making our 3rd round pick and completely unplayed EARL BENNETT the spring starter. I really like him, reminds me of Booker, but since he didn't play at all, that can't be good. Lots of pressure on him. Other than that theres a few practice quad guys and RASHIED DAVIS, who I've always loved as a sure handed 3rd/4th WR. What i like as well is the use of TE GREG OLSON out wide too, really makes us versatile with a HUGE target out there
* Obviously we need 2 WRs to make an NFL-standard 5 on the roster. Why we havent signed a solid veteran to give Hester story-times and allow him recess for 20 mins a day is very confusing. There is a lot of bought-to-die talent out there. Marvin Harrisson, Tory Holt, Amani Toomer. Maybe after the draft...heres a few guys we could get. KENNY BRITT and HAKEEM NICKS are bigger recievers that can take pressure off of Hester and should be available for the Bears at pick No. 18. Some mid-round possibilities I like are UNCs BROOK FOSTER, BYUs AUSTIN COLLIE who could make solid #2 recievers or some later round picks such as Texas' QUAN COSBY, Rices JARRETT DILLARD who can work wonders in the slot, or watch out for PITTs DEREK KINDER who was a monster before a knee injury last year.
TE
Very solid at the position. DESMOND CLARK has always been dependable. GREG OLSEN can line up at WR or inside at TE and give defenses a lot of looks. Should become more of a goal line threat once he gets more experience. KELLEN DAVIS looks a lot like the super cereal Xerxes and is just as flamingly big. A great prospect to have on the roster.
OL
Note: Would love to commend the Bears on quickly making a 'trade' with the browns...they signed John St. Clair (who sucked mind you) and we signed they're younger, more experienced and possible KKK ringmaster/Deadliest Catch-star Kevin Shaffer.
http://www.chicagobears.com/news/NewsStory.asp?story_id=5684
That gives us a experienced starting RT and a complete 'Oh Please God let him be good' at the LT (2008 1st round pick Chris Williams). I think we'll be alright at the OT positions. Olin Kreutz is still our C and everyone loves/hates him. Guards Roberto Garza and Josh Beekman are solid as well as Dan Buenning and Frank Obih%$le (another recent signee), we shuold defintely bring in some more competition and talent for both G and T.
*I say spend a top-3 round pick on a T or G, maybe a G/T? PHIL LOADHOLT out of Oklahoma is literally a holt of load (6'8 340). Big dude. His teammate DUKE ROBINSON is also a talented massive body that should be around in round 2. Maybe later look at an athletic T like Nebraska's LYDON MERTHA. Beekman is our future starter at Kreutz after Fred Miller exacts his revenge from the broken-jaw-at-the-FBI-shooting-range-incident...I'm surprised that wasnt made into a weirder spectacle.
DL
I'm happy here with the talent, not the production. ADAWAYLE OGUNLEYE and ALEX BROWN are hard workers and great football players but are getting old and MARK ANDERSON doesnt seem to care anymore. In comes Rod Marinelli and watch out for a double digit sack season from one of them...seriously, he's that good of a coach. TOMMIE HARRIS and MARCUS HARRISON are the best talents at DT and ANTHONY ADAMS and DUSTY DVORACHECK are mean mother fuckers who will foot-stomp anybody who identifies themselves as a quarterback.
*Need to get some young talent at DE after some failed earlier draft picks. MICHAEL JOHNSON (Georgia Tech), LARRY ENGLISH (NIU) and PAUL KRUGER (Utah) are incredible talents who could possibly slip to round 2 where we should absolutely jump on them. Look out for USC-transfer JEFF SCHWEIGER who is a pass rush terror from San Jose St. If ROBERT AYERS from Tennessee falls to the Bears at no. 18, they should think long and hard (thats what she said?) at him.
LB
LANCE BRIGGS a football fuckin animal. Should have another pro bowl year. BRIAN URLACHER unfortunately has made clear a lot of rumors...he doesnt even try to get off blocks, its embarassing. He makes it look like he is but then slows down and lets the guy just hold him completely out of the play. No disruption. Still solid in pass coverage. But we need a future replacement..I never thought Id have to say that. HUNTER HILLENMEYER and JAMAR WILLIAMS are very close to being marginally decent players...need someone else out there.
*JASPER BRINKLEY from South Carolina and DARRY BECKWITH from LSU are solid MLBs who proved to hold their own in the SEC and should be available in rounds 4-5. At OLB, KALUKA MAIVA from USC (A backup, but hey, Matt Cassel) and fast-rising BRIAN TOAL from BC could contribute on special teams and become solid starters.
**Two interesting notes about forgotten draft-eligable players this year at OLD
1. Tre Blackmon - Auburn - Has like 7 kids or something and was the hardest hitting thing I've encountered since that 8-ball of smack from Reno '04. Sufficently dubbed 'the Little Ball of Hate' by his teammates. I really hope he gets drafted. I think hes only 6' 220, but oh dear can he play.
Watch(Please excuse the freak that narrates, you'll see)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm3QcPAqS1Q&feature=related
2. Willie Williams - Glenville St. - The infamous 'I got accepted into Miami (Fl.) even though I've had over 17+ arrests as a minor'. Also famously caused 3+ felonies in a florida hotel while on an official visit.
DB
Vasher, solid, stop getting hurt asshole. Tillman, extremely gifted albeit a lil slower than most WRs, just let him strip the ball every play. Manning is an INCREBILE KR and a sweet nickel back, I wish they'd put him in at FS though. Josh Bullocks is a good FA pick-up and has great speed and should become our starting FS. Kevin Payne is our man at SS and with an incredibly fitting name (sorry I had to be the 73rd guy to say that). At CB Corey Graham and Zach Bowman are future studs and have already flashed it. Craig Steltz is a sweet badass who is a solid chioce for a backup.
*Pick up anoher safety and corner to compete for roster sopts. I really really like CB MIKE MICKENS from Cincy who we could nab in the 4-5 round, extremely athletic who'd make a great cover 2 corner. FS DEREK PAGUES could play corner as well and is an absolute ballhawk, reminds me of Ed Reed and thats saying a lot, but for some reason will be available after round 3.
K/P
I love you Gould. You too Maynard, sorry for giving your child possible brain damage from lack of supervision...funny story, ask me if you want the whole thing.
Beautiful Butterflies ('09 Sleeper Picks)
These are guys who are already proven gamers, but many in the NFL will be too drunk to realize they can significantly contribute right away or soon enough to warrant a high pick.
I have no order for them so i'll give them a *-**** rating on how awesomely sleepershtick they are...
**** Quan Cosby - WR - Texas (Projected: 6-7 round, Smart Drafting: 2-3 round)
Unreal athleticism. Will be a MUCH better Wes Welker in the slot. Quick twitched, very smart, great hands and leaping ability. Only thing is he's almost as old as Wes. Played baseball for 4 years with the Mets or some queertits team like that. Instant contributor.
** Antone Smith - RB - Florida St. (Projected: undrafted, Smart Drafting:5-6 round)
Fast as all hell, dumb as rocks, looks like a convict...sounds very similar to another florida st. player(s)...Short, stocky and never lived up to his potential, but ran well for an underacheiving florida st. team. I like a lot of the unheralded prospects on florida st. Greg Carr, Tony Carter and Michael Ray Irvin, could contend for roster spots in the nfl if they avoid being on one in prison.
*** Bradon Tate - WR - North Carolina (Projected: 3-4 round, Smart Drafting: 2nd round)
Great KR and great WR, was the apple of UNC's WR corps eye until an McGahee-knee injury let Hakeem Nicks step up and outshine the senior.
**** Jarrett Dillard - WR - Rice (Projected: 4-5 round, Smart Drafting: 2nd round)
We've heard it a million times, and someone always defies it every year, he's just too black, wait, i mean small. A hard worker who will out jump anyone and make sure his feet are in bounds on every catch. 'He's too small' they say...i hate you...he's 5'11, he'll be fine.
** Bradley Fletcher and Mitch King - CB and DT/DE - Iowa (Projected:6-7 Smart Drafting:4-5)
Only b/c they went to Iowa. Fletcher is an incredible athlete with great size for the position. King is a furious hard worker built like a Bleuth House (Solid as A Rock). Could be a great 3-4 DE or a 3rd down DT, will be an asset to whoever drafts him.
* Curtis Painter - QB - Purdue (Projected : 7, Smart Drafting: probably 7, that sounds about right)
I thought he was a 1st rounder when I saw him play 2 years ago. Gambit-esque arm (could throw an ace of diamonds through 3 decipticons..hmm). But he is an idiot and lacks a lot of confidence. I bet Bill Bilichick drafts him and manages to go 10-4 in a season with him...ass.
*** Roy Miller - DT - Texas (Projected: 5-7, Smart Drafting: 3)
Am I the only one who saw this guy dominate the line (sometimes, but enough for me to say that). People are incredibly retarded.
** Alex Boone - OT - Ohio St. (Projected: 5, Smart: 3)
Big bully who should be able to step right in and start, a total dueche that could be out of shape but has mammoth size (6'8 330).
Other Players Who Should be Drafted Higher Than They're Projected To...
1. Macho Harris, CB, Virginia Tech (Projected: 2-3, Smart: 1)
First round talent, with speed and moxie, steal
2. Derek Pagues, FS, Mississippi St. (Projected: 4-5, Smart: 2-3)
Extremely athletic ballhawk who is smaller than most (5'10 195) and has CB experience as well
3. ***TEs*** Shawn Nelson (southern miss) Jared Cook (South Carolina) Chase Coffman (Missouri) Cornelius Ingram (Florida) James Casey (Rice) Travis Beckum (Wisconsin)
I believe there is going to be a mad rush to start drafting TEs in the second round. Watch for one of these guys to possibly sneak into the 1st round as well. They are all talented and can contribute immediately. I see a lot of them projected 'going from rounds 2-5' but I don't think anyone of them will make it to the second day of the draft.
Ranked, they are
1. Shawn Nelson, athletic beast who put Rey Mauluga on his ass at the senior bowl
2. Chase Coffman, makes incredibly acrobatic catches but has never really blocked
3 Cornelius Ingram, looks like a basketball player. field stretching talent
4. James Casey, old. played baseball for awhile. dallas clark - type. starter
5. Travis Beckum, great reciever but only OK blocker. tore his acl
6. Jared Cook, good workout numbers, but can he make it happen?
--Unfortunately there are no real quarterback sleepers, they're all batfinks
I have no order for them so i'll give them a *-**** rating on how awesomely sleepershtick they are...
**** Quan Cosby - WR - Texas (Projected: 6-7 round, Smart Drafting: 2-3 round)
Unreal athleticism. Will be a MUCH better Wes Welker in the slot. Quick twitched, very smart, great hands and leaping ability. Only thing is he's almost as old as Wes. Played baseball for 4 years with the Mets or some queertits team like that. Instant contributor.
** Antone Smith - RB - Florida St. (Projected: undrafted, Smart Drafting:5-6 round)
Fast as all hell, dumb as rocks, looks like a convict...sounds very similar to another florida st. player(s)...Short, stocky and never lived up to his potential, but ran well for an underacheiving florida st. team. I like a lot of the unheralded prospects on florida st. Greg Carr, Tony Carter and Michael Ray Irvin, could contend for roster spots in the nfl if they avoid being on one in prison.
*** Bradon Tate - WR - North Carolina (Projected: 3-4 round, Smart Drafting: 2nd round)
Great KR and great WR, was the apple of UNC's WR corps eye until an McGahee-knee injury let Hakeem Nicks step up and outshine the senior.
**** Jarrett Dillard - WR - Rice (Projected: 4-5 round, Smart Drafting: 2nd round)
We've heard it a million times, and someone always defies it every year, he's just too black, wait, i mean small. A hard worker who will out jump anyone and make sure his feet are in bounds on every catch. 'He's too small' they say...i hate you...he's 5'11, he'll be fine.
** Bradley Fletcher and Mitch King - CB and DT/DE - Iowa (Projected:6-7 Smart Drafting:4-5)
Only b/c they went to Iowa. Fletcher is an incredible athlete with great size for the position. King is a furious hard worker built like a Bleuth House (Solid as A Rock). Could be a great 3-4 DE or a 3rd down DT, will be an asset to whoever drafts him.
* Curtis Painter - QB - Purdue (Projected : 7, Smart Drafting: probably 7, that sounds about right)
I thought he was a 1st rounder when I saw him play 2 years ago. Gambit-esque arm (could throw an ace of diamonds through 3 decipticons..hmm). But he is an idiot and lacks a lot of confidence. I bet Bill Bilichick drafts him and manages to go 10-4 in a season with him...ass.
*** Roy Miller - DT - Texas (Projected: 5-7, Smart Drafting: 3)
Am I the only one who saw this guy dominate the line (sometimes, but enough for me to say that). People are incredibly retarded.
** Alex Boone - OT - Ohio St. (Projected: 5, Smart: 3)
Big bully who should be able to step right in and start, a total dueche that could be out of shape but has mammoth size (6'8 330).
Other Players Who Should be Drafted Higher Than They're Projected To...
1. Macho Harris, CB, Virginia Tech (Projected: 2-3, Smart: 1)
First round talent, with speed and moxie, steal
2. Derek Pagues, FS, Mississippi St. (Projected: 4-5, Smart: 2-3)
Extremely athletic ballhawk who is smaller than most (5'10 195) and has CB experience as well
3. ***TEs*** Shawn Nelson (southern miss) Jared Cook (South Carolina) Chase Coffman (Missouri) Cornelius Ingram (Florida) James Casey (Rice) Travis Beckum (Wisconsin)
I believe there is going to be a mad rush to start drafting TEs in the second round. Watch for one of these guys to possibly sneak into the 1st round as well. They are all talented and can contribute immediately. I see a lot of them projected 'going from rounds 2-5' but I don't think anyone of them will make it to the second day of the draft.
Ranked, they are
1. Shawn Nelson, athletic beast who put Rey Mauluga on his ass at the senior bowl
2. Chase Coffman, makes incredibly acrobatic catches but has never really blocked
3 Cornelius Ingram, looks like a basketball player. field stretching talent
4. James Casey, old. played baseball for awhile. dallas clark - type. starter
5. Travis Beckum, great reciever but only OK blocker. tore his acl
6. Jared Cook, good workout numbers, but can he make it happen?
--Unfortunately there are no real quarterback sleepers, they're all batfinks
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